That moment when you lose control, and you hate it. You go over and over it in your mind. Like sharp stone that cuts you every time, as you turn it over and over. You throw it away but it’s still near you on the ground. It’s in sight, in reach of your mind, and you dread stepping on it. You know your clumsy feet will find it, they find every stone you throw away. No one understands the importance of fighting yourself, to stay in control of emotion because they don’t feel the extreme pain that comes when you lose control. They don’t understand that when you cry you aren’t just getting rid of sadness. You are getting rid of the memory that is still intact. You are ridding yourself of exhaustion, and the pins in your face. The anger, when you speak nonsense, or with exaggeration. You can’t lose control because your reaction to these things are just as extreme as the feeling in your heart.